Ferret and the Weasel
by Spike and Tabby
Summary: So this was what started the whole account. Lots of different Slash pairings. The main one is Draco/Ron. Hence the title, but there is a lot with the other couples too. Rated T for Randomness, Crack, and Slash!


**TABBY**: Soo…this story was…

**SPIKE**: OUR INSPIRATION!!!

**BUN-BUN**: Shut up Spike

**SPIKE**: -whimper-

**TABBY**: For Spike and Tabby.

**MIWA**: Even though they didn't post it first.

**SPIKE**: I forgot…

**BUN-BUN**: **AND** she lost the fist disclaimer.

**TABBY**: But I forgive her.

**BUN-BUN**: I don't.

**SPIKE**: Please forgive me.

**MIWA: **Can we move on?

**TABBY: **Fine…

**SPIKE:** WARNINGS!!!

**BUN-BUN: ** -glares-

**SPIKE: **-cries-

**MIWA: **T for content.

**TABBY**: Crack

**SPIKE: **Slash! MWahahaha!!!

**BUN-BUN: **Spike, control yourself or you will have to leave.

**SPIKE: **but…But….

**MIWA: **Siriusly, you guys need to stop this because this is getting WAY too long.

**BUN-BUN: **Shut you baka! -jumps and punches-

**TABBY: **Oh…Um…Ouch. Well….

**SPIKE: **GO BUN-BUN!! PUNCH HIM!!

**BUN-BUN:** Once I finish with Miwa, you're next Spike.

**SPIKE: **-runs away screaming-

**BUN-BUN/MIWA: **-run away fighting-

**TABBY: **….On with our random story. WHY AM I ALL ALONE??

**Do you really think completely metal people like this came up with the amazing plot and characters in Harry Potter? If you do, well then, I think it's time for you to stop dipping the sugar cookies in cactus juice. It does things to you. Ask Spike, she'll tell you…..**

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Draco and Hermione sat at the small circular table with their friends. Ron was holding hands with Lavender, who was talking animatedly about her canceled plans for the Christmas break.

Ginny was sitting on Harry's lap and their heads were close together as they spoke in muffled whispers. Pansy was talking to Blaise, who was staring off in the direction of The-Boy-Who-Lived.

Meanwhile, Fred and George were sitting at their own table on the other side of the Great Hall, when the headmaster entered.

Professor Dumbledore looked at the table with the eight students and an evil grin spread across his face.

"Ah, there you two are," Dumbledore said coming up behind the twins. "Can I see you two in my office please?" he asked them.

"Of course Professor," they said following the older wizard out of the Great Hall.

"You haven't said anything in the past five minutes," Hermione told Draco.

"Sorry I was listening to Ron," he mumbled.

"You never listen to me," Hermione grumbled.

"Did you say something, Hermione?" he asked.

"Oh nothing Malfoy! See that's exactly my point you stupid ferret. You pay attention to everyone but me," Hermione said, jumping out of her seat.

The people around the table looked up from their conversations.

"Don't yell at Draco," Ron screamed to Hermione.

"Shut up Ronald, you're no worse than he is you silly little Weasel," she snapped back.

"Don't you dare yell at my Won-Won like that you fifthly Mudblood," Lavender told her.

Ginny jumped out of her seat, and turned towards Lavender, knocking over a goblet of Pumpkin Juice in her haste. "Don't call Hermione that!" she screamed, as the overturned goblet spilled on Harry's lap.

"Don't throw things at Harry," Blaise told the Weasley girl, who's ears where a shade of deep red.

"Don't blame Ginny," Hermione snapped.

"ALL OF YOU, JUST SHUT UP!" Pansy screamed, standing in her chair.

All of them were silent for a few minutes until Hermione stormed out of the dinning hall.

"Go check on her Draco," Ginny screamed at the blonde.

"Why don't you?" he asked her completely calm.

Ginny pulled her wand out the pocket of her robe and pointed it to Draco's chest.

"I said, go check on her," she whispered harshly.

"You should do as she says mate," Ron mumbled.

Draco starred at the red headed boy before sighing and leaving the Great Hall.

Blaise stood and said, "I better go make sure he's okay," before leaving the hostile table.

Blaise caught up with his Slytherin friend.

"Why what went on back there?" he asked him.

Draco stared at him for a minute before he turned a pale white and answered harshly, "I like Ron. No I don't. I love Hermione, my girlfriend. But Ron's so handsome. His stupid red hair is so perfect with his stupid freckles and the way his stupid ears turn that stupid shade of red when he's pissed," Draco argued with himself.

"You forgot his sexy Quidditch body," Hermione said coming out of the girls' bathroom and wiping her eyes.

Draco and Blaise stared at the seventh year girl in shock.

"Umm…" Draco said unable to think of what to say. He had never been in a situation like this before.

"Yeah, I get it. He's hot," Hermione said. "Go get him."

Draco smiled as he brought her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Ron walked around the corner to see Draco hugging his bookworm friend.

"So I…uh… See you guys are back together," he said in the happiest voice he could manage.

"No Ron. It's not like-" Hermione started but Ron interrupted her.

"No, I'll let you guys have your privacy. I'll see you back in the common room. Mione," he said walking off without a word to Draco.

"I've gotta go," Hermione said leaving the corridor.

"Well that went well," Blaise said once they were the only two in the corridor.

Draco glared at his friend.

"Oh shut up, you're not doing any better with Ha-" Draco silenced when he saw Harry leave the Great Hall, hand in hand with Ginny.

"Hey Blaise," Harry said making the boy break out in an almost invisible blush against his dark skin.

"Where'd Hermione go?" Ginny asked.

"Common room," Draco said trying not to laugh at the other Slytherin.

"Come on Harry. Let's go check on Hermione," Ginny said practically puling his arm out of socket as she dragged him away.

Once they left, Draco broke out in the laughter he had been trying to hold back.

"Shut up. I just realized we left Lavender and Pansy in there by themselves," Blaise told him.

As if on cue, Lavender ran out of the Great Hall, blushing. Her face was so dark and vivid that it put even Ron's hair to shame.

"Where's Won-Won? I need him….to help me with…something. Just where is he?" she stuttered.

The two boys pointed down the hall trying not to laugh. Lavender ran off and the boys fell to the ground, their shoulders shaking from their laughter.

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**So there's chapter one. Tabby did the disclaimer and helped Spike come up with ideas. (only cause she was bribed with pocky….Spike knows her weakness. Mwahahaha)**

**It's fun to talk in third person. So yeah that's all Spike has for you know. **

**Love, **

**Spike (me)**

**-and Tabby too!!!**


End file.
